Celebrate! It Might be Shakespeare's Birthday!

For those of you in the pretentious "literate" crowd (by which I mean, those who can read, and flaunt it. I mean, who do you think you are?!), might be aware that today is one of the many days that might be Shakespeare's birthday. Apparently, it was also the day that he died in 1616, which makes him allegedly as cool as Mark Twain, but without the comet. Some say that Shakespeare was not born on the same day he died and that it was a mistake made by a historian, but I'd stick with it if I were one of the 'Speareheads (I swear I made that up), Marshmallow Fluff was an accident, but look how awesome that worked out!

So with today being possibly Shakespeare's Possible birthday, I thought it only appropriate to dish out a few fast facts about Shakespeare and about other possibly fictitious but nonetheless awesome people. Now, the thing about "fast-facts" is that while they may, in fact, be fast, they are less likely to be facts. Got it? Good.

- William Shakespeare was born to John Shakespeare and Mary Arden in Stratford-upon-Avon, which is one of the only cities with a preposition in it (aside from 'round-about-Columbus, Ohio).

- Shortly before enrolling at the local liberal arts college, 18 year old William met and married the then 26 year old Anne Hathaway. This proved fruitful for both, as Hathaway went on to start in Shakespeare's early comedy "The Princess Diaries" and used her clout in Hollywood to push her Husband's "Romeo and Juliet" through the studio system.

- The Authorship of Shakespeare's plays came into question around a century after his death, based on many contradictions in both the work and the man's upbringing and class, and the fact that the soft copies of his plays came from many different hard drives.

- Among the men believed to be an author of many or all Shakespeare plays is Francis Bacon, the famous philosopher and pioneer of the scientific method. This theory gained credence when it was discovered that most Shakespeare plays began with a hypothesis and were riddled with seemingly unnecessary data tables. Holders of this belief call their theory "the Six Degrees of Francis Bacon".

- Many believe that "Shake-speare" is an old English pseudonym, based on the goddess Athena, who was born shaking a spear. This practice was common at the time, both in the literary circles and in the then budding adult theater industry. Common names included Tom Tell-truth, Martin Mar-prelate, and Cuthbert Curry-nave. The tradition continued with later risque pseudonyms such as "Henry Wadsworth Longfellow", and "Ernest Hemingway".

- Malcom X once posited that King James I was actually the author of Shakespeare's plays. While many scoffed at such an idea, it makes perfect sense, as King James I was also King James VI, proving his ability to be many prominent people at once, and consequently throwing metaphysics at the time into a total tailspin.